Diana
“Running over it”
Heightened pleasure & bigger orgasms through anal touch
Is anal pleasure really a thing for women? Our research shows that yes, it definitely is. And most of the women who enjoy anal pleasure went for years thinking, ‘no way! it’s not for me!’ Explore the ways women discover this whole separate set of pleasures, alone and with partners.
When most of us hear the term, 'anal sex,' what comes to mind is deep, in-and-out, ‘porn-like’ penetration. Based on that mental image, most don’t even explore anal pleasure. But seeing the actual, real-life ways women discover and experience it is eye-opening. There’s so much more to it.
Many find it helpful to start exploring by touching gently on the outside of the butthole during sex, thinking of it as a surface, not a hole. The skin on the butthole is packed with pleasure nerves and can bring pleasure even without any penetration, at all.
“I only discovered pleasure there when I started treating my butt not as a place for things to go into but more like another flat erogenous zone. Kind of like how my nipple is a flat erogenous zone.”
Those who haven't experienced anal pleasure before often can't even imagine they ever could. It's only by experimenting that women report a moment where they suddenly ‘get it’ and understand how it could be great, gaining a new pleasure tool in their repertoire forever.
“I thought anal stuff was just not for me. A few times partners tried to enter and it hurt—which just made me more sure. So I was really surprised in my 30’s to realize how pleasurable it can be for me.”
“I used to be so sure it couldn’t be pleasurable for me. Then one time I pressed on my anus just before orgasming and was like, Oh! Now I get it!”
“It’s a tingly, electric, focused pleasure. And there’s a kind of forbidden quality that makes it feel really intimate and sort of primal.”
“I thought anal stuff was just not for me. A few times partners tried to enter and it hurt—which just made me more sure. So I was really surprised in my 30’s to realize how pleasurable it can be for me.”
“I used to be so sure it couldn’t be pleasurable for me. Then one time I pressed on my anus just before orgasming and was like, Oh! Now I get it!”
The area on the outside of the butthole is so sensitive that even small, gentle motions can provide lots of pleasure.
Many women describe discovering anal pleasure with a partner who made it clear they wouldn’t penetrate—they just started with thoughtful, gentle, well-lubricated fingertips around the outside during other sexual touch.
“Knowing he wasn’t going to go inside my butt is what let me relax and feel the pleasure. We made a sort of agreement and it worked.”
Feather-soft pressure so the tip of the finger, toy or penis is resting just on the opening.
Play Animation Stop AnimationApproaching and haphazardly passing by, only occasionally passing over the opening—without going in. (more about this in the Hinting section of Season 1)
Play Animation Stop AnimationA slow, gentle, up-and-down motion that barely presses into the folds of the opening on each pass.
Play Animation Stop AnimationGently pressing on the area between the butthole and the vagina. Especially loved just before and during orgasm as a way to feel anal pleasure without even touching the butthole.
Play Animation Stop AnimationAnal stimulation can make clitoral and vaginal pleasure feel even better. Many talk about this combined pleasure as feeling ‘bigger.’ It can also make orgasms easier to achieve and more intense.
“I can be not able to reach orgasm, but a little light tickle of the butt and it sends me over the edge almost every time. And the orgasms go on for longer.”
When a finger, penis or toy is inside the vagina, put a finger just inside the anus and press it toward what’s in the vagina. This sandwiching of the wall in between can feel amazing, especially while also rubbing the clit.
Many love a vibration on the outside of the butt during clit stimulation or penetration. Some even take the popular rabbit-shaped vibrator with ears meant for clit stimulation and flip it upside-down so the vibrations pleasure the butt.
The number one insight from women who enjoy anal penetration: it feels best if they can control the depth and speed, especially at the beginning. A way to do this is when the receiver “pushes back” onto what is penetrating (finger/toy or penis.) And the partner, if there is one, is just staying totally still and letting her completely control the motion.
Where anal penetration tends to go wrong is when partners go too deep or too fast. The backing-on solution is a perfect fix—because it’s agreed beforehand the partner is going to stay still and not move at all.
Deeper anal penetration can feel wonderful—but for most, it only feels good after lots of other stimulation or an orgasm. And with a gentle rocking motion, not the deep and fast stroking depicted in porn.
Yes, folks. We each actually have 2 buttholes, one inside of the other. (We didn’t believe it at first, either.) There’s an outer ring of muscle—that’s the opening you can see and that you can tighten and loosen just by thinking about it. But, when your finger is just inside, you’ll feel a second ring around your fingertip that clenches or releases based on how relaxed you are.
The inner ring is involuntary and relaxes with whatever calms and de-stresses your mind and body, like slow, deep breathing. Some gently tickle the inner ring with a fingertip (as if tickling the tip of a nose) for 30 seconds to a minute to help it loosen. If the body is ready, you'll feel these inner muscles relax and you can slide further in. If not, don't force it—go back to other kinds of non-butt touch for a while and try again later.
“I need to do my own preparation before butt play. On days when I want to do it, I put a butt plug in myself in the shower and just leave it there as I hang out around the house.”
“My partner starts with a fingertip. I do deep breaths and picture the muscles releasing more with each breath. As I get more relaxed, it’s like it opens up and accepts their finger further inside.”
“Some days, my butt doesn’t want anything inside. And it was really important for me that my partner totally understood that. No questions asked. I can just say, ‘not today!’ and we don’t push it.”
“I need to do my own preparation before butt play. On days when I want to do it, I put a butt plug in myself in the shower and just leave it there as I hang out around the house.”
“My partner starts with a fingertip. I do deep breaths and picture the muscles releasing more with each breath. As I get more relaxed, it’s like it opens up and accepts their finger further inside.”
The anus is packed with the same nerves that connect to the clitoris. And anal penetration at certain angles can put pressure through the thin wall separating the vagina and the butt and stimulate G-Regions or the inside of the clitoral structure. And with enough of the right kind of stimulation, this can lead to orgasms!
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