Wider pressure and grinding to activate the entire clitoris
If your fingertip is the tiny paintbrush you use for detailed work, your full hand is the broad brush that covers a larger canvas. Instead of hitting one spot, lots of pleasurable parts can be stimulated at the same time. Explore ways to get more pleasure from broader pressure.
Pressing the vulva against something wide or pressing something wide against the vulva stimulates the entire pleasure neighborhood: the clit, of course, but also the deeper clitoral structure under the surface that you can’t see.
Ever heard of the magic trick where a magician lies on a bed of nails? It's possible because when pressure is spread out, it's gentler. With broader touch, pressure that might feel ‘too hard’ with a fingertip, toy or penis tip can be warm and lovely when it gets spread over a bigger area.
At the beginning of a session, broad pressure seems to be the only thing that feels nice for almost everybody. But it also brings orgasms to 51% of women, either alone or with a partner.
Put a few fingertips together instead of using just one, and—BOOM—pressure is more spread out and diffuse… try touching the clitoris with this larger unified pad of three fingers.
Same if you switch from touching with the tip of a penis or toy to touching with the side or shaft.
Even the tongue can be made into a flatter, broader surface pretty easily!
Many women swear by the broad pressure of an open hand. Every part under the hand gets equal attention and there’s no focus on any one spot. This kind of broadening works solo and partners can give it, too.
“I get to feel the whole area rather than just a little bit because the pressure is so spread out”
70% of women love to grind on a hard penis or toy when it’s not penetrating! The partner can lie on their back with the toy or penis laying flat, pointing up toward their belly button. The woman straddles and rubs up and down or back and forth on the base and shaft.
Leslie
“Grinding leg while going down”
In the passion of kissing and making out, vulvas often seek out something to grind on. And a partner’s thigh is right there at crotch level. The roundness of a leg means the pressure hits not just the clit, labia, and opening, but also the perineum and butt. A popular warm-up is for partners to ‘give leg’ by applying gentle pressure and letting her pelvis do its thing.
46% of women push their hips, vulva and clitoris against objects. Especially interesting: more than 80% of them have never told anyone about it, ever.
Women who love grinding talk about a very sexy feeling that comes with unabashedly taking exactly what they want, focusing on their own sensuality.
75% of women who grind discovered it before ever being sexual with a partner. This can make grinding feel like an ‘original’ and personally authentic way of feeling pleasure - from a time before self-consciousness.
13% of women grind face down on flat things like mattresses or floors. This is often discovered lying in bed and, for many, is their first sexual pleasure.
18% of women grind on soft ridges with a firmer center like mattress edges, couch arms, pillows, bunched-up blankets or rolled up towels.
16% of women grind on hard objects and furniture like table edges, chairs or bed posts. These have no ‘give,’ so provide lots of pressure.
Leslie
“Discovering diffuse pressure”
Grinding puts the body in control to take what it wants. It lets women get just the right pressure, speed, placement and motion for that moment. Because of that, it can serve a great purpose: showing us and our partners the specific kinds of touch and pressure we like. Grind on—or in front of—a partner for a fun and very educational night. The partner can then try to replicate that pressure and friction.
“I feel like sometimes when my partner asks me, ‘how do you like it?’ I don’t know the answer. But when I grind, it’s like my body is showing both of us how I like it!”
Angie
“A taboo lifted”
25% of women who grind do it by pressing their own thighs together. This enables hands-free pleasure, wherever you are. Genius! The pressure can be from the muscles squeezing and/or the thighs actually moving.
Jillian
“Jeans method”
