Surprise

The pleasure of the unexpected

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Keeping the Body Guessing

Variety is the spice of life, right? That’s especially true when it comes to women’s pleasure.

Seven out of 10 women want stimulation to be non-repetitive at some stage of arousal. Even among women who love consistency when very close to orgasm, many prefer surprise at some stage.

You want to avoid falling into a routine from minute-to-minute so that the sensation keeps evolving and stays exciting.

Keeping the Body Guessing

Variety is the spice of life, right? That’s especially true when it comes to women’s pleasure.

Seven out of 10 women want stimulation to be non-repetitive at some stage of arousal. Even among women who love consistency when very close to orgasm, many prefer surprise at some stage.

You want to avoid falling into a routine from minute-to-minute so that the sensation keeps evolving and stays exciting.

Surprise Variations

Variation 1: Constant Surprise

65% of women love constant surprise at some stage of arousal

Constant surprise is when each motion is unlike the last - so that the body doesn’t know what’s happening next.

65% of women love constant surprise at some stage of arousal

“For me, if my clit gets a new kind of attention than what happened just before, there’s an extra burst of pleasure.”

“It’s kind of like how you don’t get scared if you know that someone is about to scare you... when my body knows what touch is coming next, the pleasure isn’t as strong.”

Each motion is unlike the last and there is no pattern. To experiment, try taking the motions that already work for you or your partner and vary each repetition. The variation can be in shape (circles, flicks, side-to-side, etc.) or in location (approaching the clit from above, or from the side, etc.) or in speed or rhythm. You’ll notice if the variation feels better and more exciting, or feels distracting and less pleasurable.

Variation 2: Set Surprise

76% of women love set surprise at some stage of arousal

Set Surprise is repeating each motion a few times, and then switching to a new one—without setting a predictable pattern. So each kind of stimulation has some time to build up, but before it gets boring and predictable, you switch to a new one.

76% of women love set surprise at some stage of arousal

“It only starts feeling good after something happens a few times in a row. But then, pretty quickly, it gets predictable. So what feels best is a mix of different moves but each one happening a few times.”

Everyone has a set of motions they like—and set surprise is a way of altering them to both keep the spontaneity, but also to let each kind of stimulation build up pleasure.

Many women who like set surprise prefer if the motion changes to become consistent when approach begins (See Consistency). So, during buildup, changing between sets of motions and then sticking with the one motion that’s happening the moment the orgasm starts to build.

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Sonya demonstrates her style of Surprise

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An interactive version of Sonya’s vulva is about to fill your screen. (Really.)

Why?

You get to try the technique and hear different ways women guide partners.

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Bringing it to the Bedroom

Helpful Guidelines

  • Can I Get a Sign? Many women like surprise in the buildup, but want consistency when the orgasm starts to build. So it’s good for these people to have a signal (“hey... getting close!”) so their partner can switch.
  • Duration. In set surprise, intense motions may feel best when done very briefly, while other less direct and less intense motions are best when repeated longer.

Most Common Challenges

  • Timing. Surprise at the wrong time. Many women prefer surprise during buildup, not during approach or orgasm.
  • Random “Zingers.” Remember that surprise is about breaking patterns, not going wild and throwing in random “zingers.” It’s a way to alternate between the things that feel great to make it even more exciting.
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Surprise Keeping the nerves guessing

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Surprise Keeping the nerves guessing

Set SurpriseRepeat each motion - whether it's taps, arcs, or circles - a few times before switching to a new one always keeping the pattern inconsistent.

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Surprise Keeping the nerves guessing